Introduction

It was never my intention to write this book. But then again, getting divorced wasn’t on my “to do” list either. My background is in nursing and management, with twenty years of experience in these areas. My goal for going into nursing was simple; I wanted to help people. The goal has never changed, only my focus. I have family law to thank for that.

My core values have always been those of fairness and equality, whether making a decision in a healthcare setting or buying a chocolate bar for my kids. I live by this one rule: “What you do for one, you do for all.”Unfortunately, in my experience, family law doesn’t share my values. Divorce propelled me into a world where the core values are greed and excess, along with a “take what you want because you’ll get it anyway” attitude. In this world, lawyers act more like coaches, training their female students on what to say and how to act to secure victory in court.

This book pulls back the veil of secrecy. You will learn the truth about what really happens when the door closes and the ex-wife and her lawyer begin to plan their strategy. Listen as the lawyer begins to describe the “financial buffet” that is there for the taking. Learn how easily a woman can gain custody of a child or turn a father’s child against him through the process known as parental alienation. Listen in on all the private conversations that feminists, lawyers, and ex-wives often deny ever take place.

But this book is also about raw human emotion. You will become an intimate part of the lives of three men I care deeply about whom I witnessed going through divorce firsthand. Observe these men as they struggle to avoid the pitfalls that family law has in store for them: poverty, bankruptcy, alienation from their children, and even death. Feel what a father feels when he is denied access to the child he loves or is forced to give his last dollar to an ex when he can’t eat or pay his own bills. Learn why lawyers, judges, and politicians are forced to cater to feminist groups. Read the suicide note left by a man who had everything taken away from him because of a court order.

This book is a labour of love. For eighteen months, I spent every evening and weekend at my computer writing the truth. During this time, if I wasn’t writing or at work, I was responding to the hundreds of e-mails sent to me each week by fathers begging me to help them make sense of the insanity they were drowning in.

Click here to download a sample chapter (.pdf format)